Mind Games!

Something that is driving me nuts at the moment.....

I have large holes in my memory. I can remember things now from when I was a child and a teenager, that I could not remember 2 years ago. But I can't remember things from the last 7 years. I try to piece things together by looking at photos and talking to people but its like having a 10,000 piece jigsaw with the outline done and all the middle missing.

Its strange really - there are things that I could do that I now can't, or can't remember how to - cooking is hilarious. I could cook well but over the last year and a half, nothing is ready in order, I burn things, I forget they are in the oven and generally the things I make are inedible!!! I could not remember how to light my fire, or that you don't wash George Foreman grills under running water!!! At work we were talking about activities we did last summer on our summer scheme - I had to ask whether I worked last summer!! Oh I was there I just don't remember. I saw some photos of one of the activities and it took a while to think I really was there.

I also say or do things and then realise that what I said or did was really clumsy, stupid and/ or funny. My brain does not seem to engage first, like it did - so have had some hilarious times. I fell into an archive box at work (they are pretty small), I fell into the boot of my car (legs dangling and everything), I called a lip brush a crisp, I picked up a Pyrex dish straight from the oven (not noticing it was hot for quite some time!!!!)

Although it is funny, it is very frustrating, cause although I am generally a bit scatty, this is insane even by my standards. It seems that my mind has compartmentalised parts of my life, anything traumatic or associated with it has been moved to a safe place (like when you think I will put those keys in a safe place so I can find them - but then you can't remember where the safe place is).

So is my mind playing games! Or just preserving itself for filing later!

Mood Music!!

Well I was chatting to a colleague yesterday who's mood and energy levels are definitely linked to the weather. When it is dull and rainy she moves more slowly and is more lethargic, and when it is sunny she bounces around like Tigger.

I am not sure whether my own moods are triggered by the weather - I know they are linked to food and sleep and if I am in need of both I get very grumpy. I have noticed throughout my life that music plays a big part in mood. My mood can be lifted by just one song. Most of you who read this and know me will know that I am definitely not a morning person and can be a little grumpy!! Well when I was at school this was also the case (surprise surprise) - however if 'Walking on Sunshine' was on the radio when the alarm went off I would dive out of bed and be dancing and happy. A few years ago I noticed that 'Hey Ya' had exactly the same effect!! Now I don't think any song would make me want to get out of bed in the cold.

Another funny one is 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader - this is my washing up song - I used to hate washing up (unless it was a cold day) but this song makes it fun.

I have noticed that if I'm having a rough day and 'Snow Patrol' music is played then I will suddenly not be having a bad day - how weird.

Well these are the strange observations I have noticed over the years!!

One of the things that drives me nuts!

I was shopping in the Bullring here in Birmingham yesterday. It is really great if you are into the whole shopping thing - and even if you are not the building that houses Selfridge's is a site to behold. I had gone to get a few presents. I was surprised to discover that it was very quiet for a Saturday (except Marks and Spencer's!!)

Well I was heading down one of the many escalators in the middle of the building when I discovered something that made me quite angry. What idiot decided to put 'The Bear Factory' (a shop which is generally full of Children) next to 'Ann Summers'? Probably the same idiot who put an ad for 'Mistresses' the new BBC drama on the TV at tea time. Do these people not think that Children may actually see these things!!!

Ooh makes me so annoyed. Children grow up quick enough without being subjected to stuff like that.

The Nuts and Bolts

Well New Year, New Blog. I took a leaf out of Mum's book. I saved my old blog so I can read it if I want to but enough now. Well this blog is going to be different. I want to get back to why Matt set one up for me in the first place - kind of. Originally I blogged about the madness of youth work, but I am a different person now so this will be different and probably very random!!